When a Parent Starts Struggling at Home

It can be a strange feeling, walking into a parent’s house and realizing the place hasn’t changed much, but their relationship with it has. It’s so weird, right, since this is meant to be a safe haven in the first place. So, the same kitchen is there, the same chair by the window, the same hallway photos, the same garden that used to be kept just so. 

But the laundry basket is heavier now, the stairs look less harmless, the fridge has more easy food than actual meals, and the garden has started becoming less of a hobby and more of a job waiting outside (and this tends to happen once it’s harder to move around, of course).

That’s the hard part, really. Home can still be home and also become a lot to manage. Nobody wants to make an older parent feel like they’re failing at everyday life, especially when they’ve probably spent decades running that house, raising people in it, hosting holidays,

keeping track of bills, fixing things, cooking meals, and acting like it was all just normal. Well, you get the idea here, but it gets to the point where they’re clearly struggling. But how can you even address this?

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Notice What they’ve Stopped Doing

Or at least what they’re clearly struggling to do here. Sometimes the biggest clues are in the things that have quietly dropped out of the routine. It honestly is so small that it doesn’t even seem like a big deal at all, like the spare room doesn’t get cleaned anymore. The upstairs bathroom barely gets used.

Fresh meals become toast, soup, cereal, and whatever doesn’t require standing too long. And the garden being brought up again, where maybe they took pride in it, but it’s not as neat or clean as it once was.

So, if it’s one thing, sure, not a big deal here, but if you’re noticing this with multiple aspects of their home, clearly there’s something wrong going on here. 

Just Talk About Help Before Everyone is Exhausted

Well, the conversation is usually easier when it starts with what would make life feel lighter, not what they can’t do anymore. All the examples listed earlier, like cooking, cleaning, and gardening, are fairly specific here too, and feel less insulting than a vague “Are you coping?”

Some families can share the load for a while. Which, good for them honestly, sometimes a cleaner, grocery delivery, meal service, gardener, or home aide can make a big difference too, but those are really expensive unless you and your family are putting income together for all of this.

And sometimes, if the home itself is becoming too much to manage even with extra help, assisted living may need to be considered here too,  or even an at-home nurse or assistant.

Try and Make the House Easier Before Making Big Decisions

A few changes can take real pressure off without making the home feel strange or overly medical. Most families will actually look into adding rails, adding stair lifts, lowering shelves, adding more lighting, fewer rugs, things like that.

Which, yes, some of these cost money, especially a stair lift or a safer bathtub. But their home shouldn’t work against them, especially if they’re adamant about just staying in their own home. 

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Laura

Welcome! I'm Laura, the founder and creative heart of Crazy Laura. After years of honing my skills in crafting, cooking, and decorating, I launched this site to be your trusted resource for creative living. My mission is to provide you with clear, easy-to-follow tutorials and thoughtfully designed printables that empower you to create with confidence.

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